All Gone

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Gone were the days that I am missing you, though I still think of you sometimes.

Gone were the days that I keep blaming myself for the break ups and misunderstanding.

Gone were the days that I feel sorry for myself for loving you so much.

Gone were the days that I take all the blame just for the relationship to survive. I’m done asking myself what's wrong with me. Gone are the days of self-pity and isolation.

I can never hide the scars you brought me for they are marks of my past and the symbol of my strength. I was able to move on despite the pain and sobs. I was able to wake up even with tears in my eyes. I was able to withstand the slaps of pain. As they all say, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. And you weren't strong enough to kill me—you were just so brave enough to leave me hanging, but too coward to be determined to keep me.

I can never count the tears I shed for you for they are the measurement of how much I wanted to be with you. I didn't regret loving you despite that we didn't end up together. Regrets won't do me good so I decided to befriend my past, but it doesn't mean that we can be friends. I just accepted you as part of my past but will never consider you as part of my future. Not that I am bitter, not that I’m still hurting but I am no longer interested.

I will never regret the days I am with you because those were the days that I am very happy. But I am strong enough to smile and keep it as memories... ALONE...

I would still thank you for coming into my life because you made me realize what love is. I knew that love is not all about laughter and good times, but it’s about laughing together at bad times. I knew how it felt to be left alone, how to be betrayed, to be disappointed and to wake up without you by my side.

You were the one I loved the most and you’re the one who gave me the most painful memories I can ever have. You made me stand up though I’m shaking inside. You taught me how to fake a smile when everybody’s laughing around. You made me cry the loudest though my mouth is shut.

Despite that, I remained alive. I withstand the pain just how it should be. I never imagined I made it without you. The rainbow came out finally and I never felt much better.

I have no intentions of falling in love again and be in a relationship until I’m totally okay. I don’t wanna be committed to someone when I know that some pieces of me are still missing. I’ll open my heart again when I know I’m complete, when I know I’m ready to be hurt again. But this time I’ll make sure it’ll be worth it.

I loved you. I missed you. I cried for you. I bled for you. I cared, I suffered and finally I moved on.

This time I’m determined. No more U-turns. There’s no turning back.

Credits to: Pirma at Pluma

Laters Baby....