I am sick.....

I have been sick for days now and I think that will justify the reason for abandoning my blog for quite some time. I have never missed blogging like the way I missed it now. I have been bed-ridden for 4 days now and I totally loathe the idea of having to lie down on bed for the whole day without doing anything. i always admitted being a couch potato but being sick as hell is a different story. I miss going to work and I miss mah friends laughter.... I wish to get well soon...

Gangzta Move....

I was raised by thugz
Schooled by killazz
Learned mah mathematics
Skills from drug dealaz
Tried to rise
But they tried meehhh
I guess they'll all gonna die
'Coz we tried
I'll die in this street
Blast 'till they recognize
'Till do or die
All mah niggaz getting high
Watching time flies
Best strategies on mah way
To profit
Best organize
How they ride so
They can't stop
Then keep it popping
A lot of bustah
Wanna see me fall
Now this new shit's
Gonna fade 'em all
Mah niggaz ball made a call
For some
The little hommies
And mag dawgzzz
On the black track
Buck, Buck was the sound
As their gutzzz burst
No need for ambulance
Baby bring the black nurse
Shoulda nevah fucked
Around bustah
How ya figure making moves
With the wrong nigga
Hollahhhh......
If ya hear me shithead!!!!

Highschool Life....

1. Private o public school mo nung hs?
>Private (Run by nuns)


2. Lagi ka bang nalelate?

> Not really...


3. Complete uniform ka ba lagi?

> I'm trying but I seldom wear my I.D.


4. Kumakanta ka ba ng Pambansang Awit at School Hymn?

> I need to be a good example for my fellow schoolmates.... Being a leader.


5. Active ka ba sa klase?
> Yap.


6. Magulo ka ba sa klase?
> Ashihihihhhh.... Guilty as charge.


7. Nagbebenta ba ang teacher niyo ng goods nya sa klase nyo?
> Yung iba....


8. Napaoffice ka na ba at bakit?
> A lot of times.... Foe a lot of reasons....


9. Nakabasag ka na ba ng instruments sa laboratory niyo?
> Nevah...


10. Sumali ka ba sa mga intramurals?

> Yap...


11. Gumagawa ka ba ng assignments o copy lang?
> Yap, I do make my own assignments... Ako ang kopyahan ng bayan....


12. Kumakain ka ba tuwing break?
> uu nmn....


13. Ano ang favorite mong food sa recess?
> Nissin Seafods Cup Noodles, Siopao Asado, 2 Sunglo Peach Juices


14. Natutulog ka ba sa klase?
> Sometimes....


15. Pumapasok ka ba sa ibang room?
> Gulity as charge.


16. Nagtetext ka ba habang nagkaklase kayo?
> Yap.....


17. Nagdadala ka ba ng mga pagkain sa room niyo?
> uu, in ang picnic time sa classroom, especially during 4th year days.....


18. Ano pinaka mahirap na subject mo sa lahat?
> Wala.....


19. Natawag mo na bang "sir" ang ma'am nyo, at "ma'am" ang sir niyo?
> Nope....


20. pangalan ng eskuwelahan mo noong HS?
> Blessed Elena Academy


21. Naaksidente ka na ba nung hs ka?
> Yap...


22. Ano ang laging kinakain mong pagkain sa canteen?
> Nissin Seafods Cup Noodles, Siopao Asado, 2 Sunglo Peach Juices


23. In general, love mo ba highschool life mo?
> A lot... I wish I could go back to my high school life!!!!


24. Sumali ka ba sa theater nung hs?
> Yap.... I always portrayed NUN roles.... Larv it!!!


25. Dancer ka ba nung hs?
> Nope... Sa gimikan... Freaky Dancers....


26. Naging CAT officer ka ba nung hs?
> Yap... Batcom...


27. Favorite subject mo nung hs?
> Math, Physics and English....


28. Catholic ba school mo?
> Yap.... Run by nuns....


29. Sumasali ka ba sa mga clubs at organizations and why?
> Yap... I need to.... Being a leader....


30. Pinakanamimiss mo nung hs ka?
> Ms. Padulaga..... GNGB and TJ's......


31. Ngkikita pa ba kayo ng classmates mo nung hs?
> uu nmn..... friends forevah....


32. Miss mo na rin ba teacher mo dati?
> Yap... C Macoy and Ms. Padugs......


33. Nagbabatuhan ba kayo ng papel nung hs?
> Yap... Pati magic bomb..... Ashihihhhhh


34. may nag sayaw ba sayo nung prom mo?
> uu nmn, mah C.O.C.C's, mah friends, mah boyfriend then....


35. umiyak ka ba nun hs ka?
> a lot of times....


36. asa star section ka ba?
> Of course.....


37. na kick out ka ba?
> Nope.....

Bidding the World Goodbye....

I have been eating a lot of Tonkatsu Bento and Gyoza lately but I am still craving for it. All I do the rest of the day is to quaff a glass of chocolate milkshake and eat in the nearby Japanese restaurant.Don't get me wrong though, I am still craving for Jolly Spaghetti. I don't know what got into me but I can't resist the urge to eat Jap foods. Hey, got my monthly injection from my OB-Gyne today. It still hurts up to now, that I just want to lie down and sleep for the rest of the nights. I can't afford though since I need to go to work. Honestly speaking, I'm so fucking stressed up right now that I don't want to go to work anymore. There is no reason to go to work anyway. My plan of resigning this December will be put to work. I already made my resignation letter early today. I'll be missing the camaraderie I've gained from my short stint in Samsung. I have been to a lot here. I became a level 1 agent and eventually became a level 2 agent. I'll surely miss the laughter, the sorrows, the pains, the controversies, the intrigues and the bucket of tears cried. There is no denying that Samsung is where my heart stays. But, all things must come to an end. I am beggining to build a new road and for me to do that successfully, I need to let go of all the bitter past I have experienced in Samsung.


Time to bid this road goodbye!!!!


Until the next chapter!!!

Random Thoughts....

cause it's you and me and all of the people

with nothing to do nothing to lose

and it's you and me and all of the people

and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

Stronger than Yesterday....

Since he’s been out of my life things have been going smoothly for me. I mean, even if there has been a few rain showers and cloudy skies, so far the days have been A-OK. I guess everything really happens for a reason. Part of it is to make me a better person inside and out. Though, this very special blessing from God, they can’t take away from me. I finally did it. I cried and let it all out. All those frustrations that have been building and I’ve been hiding inside me are gone. However, the stress of school and work are still there and yet I think I’m going to be much better now. I have a lot of people around me who has been very supportive of this new road I am building. I still must to get through helluva lot work of paper works, assignments, reasoning and proving my worth to some persons, but yeah; I’ll be all right… I have to make it. I have to keep moving forward. Anyway, I have been surrounding myself with positive things and trying to overcome my fears and flaws. Whenever I feel that an argument is about to brew I try my best to keep my cool, say something that will not offend the opposite party - compromise, be patient and go on with life. Opportunities come and go… just like job interviews. You win some, you lose some. God will give the job that’s meant for me. Today I’ve learned that change is inevitable. It’s a huge part of life and we just have to get along with it. I learned that standing up for what you believe in; telling the truth, letting your feelings go and accepting change can ease the pain. I just hope that all people might realize this fact and just stop doing their nonsense thing and just mind their own business. I guess, time really flies, and I have been working as an L2 agent for quite some time now and still pursuing my dreams. Life can’t get any better!!!

I am Filled With Bewilderment....

I tried and I still am trying.

I didn't see this one coming or maybe I did turn a blind eye for it. I never wanted it to be this way. I've always pictured having a harmonious scenario when it comes to this. For a moment there it felt like nothing can go wrong and it seems that PERFECT is not just a word anymore. Days pass, months...slowly, it started to change and so does everything else. Some started to shatter and the bliss I knew started to drift away. I have endured this for months, I kept believing that it's going to change and soon everything will be back to normal. I lost hope, I'm not gonna lie. I was on the verge of giving up. I was there. Fate was waiting for me to jump. The wind is pushing my foot to step forward but I didn't. I stayed. Through it all, I stayed because I have faith. I believed. I'm having episodes. I'm not entertaining the thought but it haunts me. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN IT. It will be totally different with missing pieces. It wouldn't make much sense. Heck, it wouldn't at all. I'm fighting. The devils in my head are creeping into the veins of my emotions. I won't let them win. I won't let them in. Let the good and the bad collide.

Juste Eu De La chance

Juste eu de la chance meaning just got lucky!!! I'll save my Tagalog post later on. I would use such for bursting out and rambles though. Mind if I share some insights??? Feel free to join my world!!!


The Downside


The weather made me all irritable and emotional. Rain excites me since that means no classes and I will have the chance to give some phony excuses not to go to work and it makes me want to crawl into my sheets and watch Charmed the entire 24 hours but right now, I just don’t feel like it. Goodness Gracious!!!!

There are some things that made me realize that there are stuffs or people that are not just worth it.

Introvert. I reduce myself to the public eye whenever I don’t feel my eager side bouncing to a new level. Especially, when all I see and hear are false accusations from those nasty and annoying people who can’t do anything but spread false rumors.

I’m still Insomniac. Yip. Nothing has pretty much changed. I wish this would end soon for health reasons.

Shits and Fuck-ups in between.


The Ups

Friends who will join you over a Venti sized Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino.

Friends who never gets tired of your whining and blahzzz.

Friends who are always willing to listen no matter what the fucking situation you are into.

Friends who are willing to drown over a bucket of beers or much better a bottle of Emperador at Niño’s Crib.

Friends who at no matter what, will always, always be there even if hell freezes over.

Friends who love you till the end and are very much willing to join you in the road never-ending.

And lastly,

Strangers who understand at one solitary “hey”.


It is only now that I realized, no matter what happens you can never be too unlucky in this world. Despite the million heartbreak and pains, bucket of tears caused by insensitive human being called boys ( don’t need to drop names here since the list is too long). There are always the reasons to smile and laugh you heart out.


** To my very loving friend Jeyza, Merci Beaucoup on always being there for me and for always defending me. Akap!!!!

Ayoko Na Munang Mag-Ingles

Mananagalog muna ko sa post ko na ito. Para sa kaibahan ng mga post ko sa araw-araw- Tsaka na ako iingles ulit pag okey na ako at bumalik na sarili kong katinuan at hinuha. Pag wala ng galit sa puso ko para sa mga taong walang alam gawin kundi manira ng kapwa, makipagtsismisan at tumingin sa dungis ng iba gayong may sarili silang dungis na dapat linisin, Pinakamasama pa nito, mas di hamak madungis ang pagmumukha nila kaysa sa tinitira nila. Tigilan na ang pagiging malungkutin. Ibabahagi ko na lamang ang mga kalokohan ko sa buong mundo ng blog....


Mga gawain, katangian, ugali na sumasagisag sa pagka-ewan ko o pagkaloka-loka ko...


Mahilig talaga kong kumain ng nakataas ang paa. Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba. Minsan kahit nasa restaurant, kahit magara pa yan, kever. Minsan pati sa clasroom habang nagdidiscuss, ginagawa ko rin yan. Yun nga lang naka-cross leg ako. Kahit sa trabaho nakataas pa rin paa ko na parang nasa bahay lang ako. Komportable ako eh, ano ba paki niyo. Imagine na lang pag nandito lang ako sa bahay, petiks mode!

Paborito ko ang kumain sa gabi. Mga tipong alas-dos o alas-tres. Alam kong may sayad na yung sikmura ko dahil pag ganyang oras lagi akong tinatamaan ng gutom. Syempre, dahil sa trabaho na pang-gabi, wala na akong alam gawin kundi ang kumain ng kumain ng manatiling gising ang ulirat ko. At dahil, wala namang matinong restaurant na bukas ng dis-oras ng gabi kaya wala na akong magagawa kundi piliting ngatain ang mga nakakasuka ng pagkain sa pantry namin, sa DEC o sa McDo.


Pag nasa skul ako nakakalimutan kong kumain. Minsan naman talagang tinatamad lang ako lumakbay sa kung saan at lalo na ang maglakad sa mala-impyernong kakalsadahan ng Pasay! Pakiramdam ko pinaplantsa yung damit ko habang naglalakad ako. Kaya lagi akong may dalang tubig or kahit ano basta pwedeng laklakin. Gatorade at kape lang pala. Forever karamay ko yang dalawa na yan.

Pag super init na init na ko, binubuksan ko yung freezer namin at tinatapat ko ang mukha ko dun. Refreshing. Sarap sa pakiramdam. Wag kayong magalala, tinitiyak kong malinis ang fridge pag ginagawa ko ito at madalas namang malinis. Hindi ata sapat ang air-con ngayon sa klima ng Pinas.

Sa hindi ko mawaring dahilan, mahilig akong makipag-usap sa sarili ko kapag nag-iisa ako, sa kwarto man o sa washroom. Kever. Wala akong pakialam. Bata pa ako ugali ko na yan. Parang paraan ko ng pagmumuni-muni sa mga naging at magiging desisyon ko pa sa buhay.

Mahilig akong mag dispose ng gamit kapag nabahiran na ng masamang kaganapan. Pwamis. Kahit cellphone pinapalitan ko o kahit ano pang makakapagpa-alala sa masamang pangyayari o tao na sumira ng mala-langit kong mundo. Basta pag uusad, usad talaga. Tanggalin lahat ng bakas ng nakaraan. At pag natanggal na, wala ng balikan pa. Ganun ka-simple. Dapat pa bang gawing kumplikado ang mga bagay-bagay.

Gusto ko ng Macademia Nuts! Kahapon pa!

Pasaway ako ng hindi sinasadya. Hindi ako proud dyan pero yun ako. At walang taong pwedeng makapagpabago ng nakasanayan ko na. Sawa na akong magpabago at sa bandang dulo, wala rin namang kahihinatnan. Tama na. Itigil na ang kabaliwang iyan. Sapat na ang minsan.


Yun lang. Wag na natin ibuko lahat ng ka-weirduhan ko. Baka mawalan ako ng kaibigan :D

Shots of Mah Nikon SLR D40.....

Here are some of mah so called photographic shots using mah very own Nikon SLR D40. Wish to improve in the near future though. Photography is what make me busy this past few days. Enjoy the glimpse of mah so called ART!!!!

Learning Photography....

Presenting my new Nikon SLR-D40

It's been a while since I last post an entry about my desire to learn photography. I have long been forgotten about it until I dawn on one SLR that will surely make a lot of people go Wooohhhh!!!! I would love to have the so called bird's eye view and I know one of this days that will dawn. I am currently studying photography and loving it. I bought a new Nikon SLR D40 and I named it Desire.... Larv it!!!!

I'm Tired of it All

Over this past two months, it became tiring, very irritating, and as peculiar as it may sound, most of the time it sucked the life out of me.



I am exhausted...



of all the judging,



of all the misconceptions,



of all the chaos,



of all the dilemma,



of all the drama,



of all the pretensions,



of all false beliefs,





of all the phony rumors,




of all the sugarcoated blahs,



and lastly,



of all those people who have done nothing but pull me down,




to hell with them.



I’m just dead tired of it all.





For once I would very much like to live my life to the fullest, live without people breathing around my neck while waiting for me to screw up. I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world with imperfect Homo sapiens. We all got our own lives to live, leave mine to me. Just mind your own business and don't use me for your own sake since that would only lead you nowhere.



This is the extro side of me, signing off.

Deal with it or Die....

When can you say you have MOVED-ON???

When you feel that you are already moving on… When it feels like as if everything is alright and you think you are already doing fine. Contented with what you have and there’s an inner peace…. It will hit you…. And no matter how hard you try to conceal it, it will persist in pinching your heart that you still love him. Inside, you struggle to bring back your tormented pride…. You shake like a little child…. And you can never deny to yourself that you still have that lingering HOPE… You try to fight but you know you still believe that everything will be the same… that he still belongs to you for only you can feel that intensity of the emptiness of living alone. How sad it is, but reality will always sink in. You are still in-love with him. The guy who has broken your heart and even those principles you believed in…. The man who made you realizes that you are not what you always thought of….. The guy who made you weak with his kisses and embraces when you were confident that you are strong…. He made you realize that you can never live alone because you belong to somebody when you thought that you are independent…. All of these slams on your faces and crushes your heart…. When is it time to moved-on…. Wounds of the heart never heals…. And forever that person is thrust in you….

Bursting Out....

I'm pissed.


I'm aggravated


I'm upset.


I'm fuming.


I'm oblivious.


I'm displeased.


I'm hurt.


This is me.


Human.








Sana sa susunod na pagbato ko



May sumalo ng walang alinlangan.

The Devil Unleashed....

Because we need to be reminded once that we are indeed just HUMAN!!!

I try to be sympathetic. I try to be discreet. I try to be innately good most of the times. Not because heaven requires me to do so, but because sometimes it actually feels good to do that random act of kindness shindig. I wear no halo, no hidden wings at my back either. But there's this evil in me I struggle to veil every once in a while. I do not like saying things when I'm in fume; it brings further complication and regret. Believe me. There are only two people who have seen the real rage inside me and both of them doesn’t want to see that rage again. Fear is the key word in here. Tonight though, that slipped.

I was in real rage this morning. My mom caught an accident. Some mentally incapacitated weirdo suddenly attacked my mom and slashed her. The only problem is, the family of the person is some kinda Mafia… Who would like to deal with them??? I am still at rage and the problem is I haven’t gotten this boiling odium out of my system.

I went to work only to hear some phony excuses and rumors. I hate it. It makes me more angry and furious. I need to get this rage out….


Help me get this rage out!!!!

Pure Cheeziness....

Got this while surfing the net and I find it so cute. Enjoy the pure (Mozzarella) Cheeziness of this post!!!!

"I'm not supposed to love you
I'm not supposed to care
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do

I'm sorry but I can't help myself
I'm in love with you"




OK people..say C H E E S E !
but it's so cute, yes?
now it's time to giggle.
"ASHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHHHHH!"
amfodah!

Ramble Thoughts During Unholy Hours...

why oh why did God decided to make you
the biggest ass in the world!

sometimes,
when I look at you or even when think of you..
..I just see this!

(_!_)
grr!!!

ok..yun lang naman.
ayyavya!!!
hehe..pffpt!

Questions That is not Similar Yet Has an Impact...

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

-The whole month of June and July. Circumstancial, yet not Mandatory, It is a free will and of my own choice. Never imagined I could do such thing though. Wouldn't wanna do it again. 

"If you were the opposite sex, would you go and date yourself?"

-I definitely would... Ashihihihhh...

"If you could ask God one question and he would answer you, what question would it be?"

-Why on earth does man lives to hurt woman?

"If given the gift of immortality would you accept it? Why?"

-No, I could not imagined myself living forever and see my loved-ones die right through my face. 

"Do you recall a time in your life when God sent you a sign right under your nose, and you failed to recognize it then and only got it afterward?"

-Yes, I just let it slipped away, pretending it is not the right sign.

"Would you choose love over career or career over love?"

-Love..... I am a sucker for romance.

"Do you believe that destiny brought you to where you are right now or is it your own choice that led you were you are exactly?" 

-I believe in DESTINY but part of it is because of my own choice.

"When do you know when enough is ENOUGH?"

-When all the sacrifices, pains and heartaches is still not being appreciated by someone you really love.... There... Enough is Enough na talaga. 

"Is seeing really believing?"

-Sometimes.... But I usually, realized it at the end na lang.

"Would you rather come back to the past or would you prefer to see the future?"

-Forget the PAST. Live the PRESENT. Dream the FUTURE.....

10 Things That Will Make Me Go Oooohhhh

Though life has been so unfortunate for me this past two months, I am still the same old Aika who can easily laugh her hearts out by just simple things. (Super Mababaw is the right term).This list would actually make my heart skip and feel blissful.

10. A cup of CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE

-> Due to health reasons, I cannot drink coffee so I might as well settle for second best which is a cup of chocolate milkshake.

9. A slice of my favorite BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

-> Seriously, a slice of blueberry cheesecake will definitely make my heart skip. I usually eat a slice when I'm down and blue.

8. A two-seater KAMALA car

-> Since I dawn my eyes on the Kamala, I can't get it out of my mind. Love for SPEED is the reason why.

7. A Pad in SERENDRA with its complete amenities

-> I worked near the area and SERENDRA is a place where I can definitely relax and unwind. Ever since, I am the independent type of person.

6. The glance of a FULL MOON and BRIGHT STARS in Antipolo

-> Since, I am a night person(L2 Technical Support Agent to be exact) I haven't had the chance to see the beauty and glamour of a full moon plus some brights stars on the background. This will make me go oooohhhhh definitely.

5. The Power to Control TIME

-> No kidding, everybody wants to have the Superhuman-ity power. And eversince I was a little kid I always buy for the power to control time.

4. CARE BEARS DISAPPEARING

-> That will automatically WOW me out. The Care Bears disappearing in my world... Life can't get any better.

3. A nice Massage from someone I LOVE

-> Isn't it nice to be relaxed by someone you love. Ooowwww....

2. A Safe PREGNANCY

-> I would like to have a very safe pregnancy if ever. Mine is really sensitive and I couldn't afford to have another miscarriage. I would like to have a twin. (Ashihihihihhh)

1. A KISS IN THE RAIN

-> I am always the sucker for romance and nothing beats being kiss in the rain. Super Oooohhhhh and Romantic.