I am Filled With Bewilderment....

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I tried and I still am trying.

I didn't see this one coming or maybe I did turn a blind eye for it. I never wanted it to be this way. I've always pictured having a harmonious scenario when it comes to this. For a moment there it felt like nothing can go wrong and it seems that PERFECT is not just a word anymore. Days pass, months...slowly, it started to change and so does everything else. Some started to shatter and the bliss I knew started to drift away. I have endured this for months, I kept believing that it's going to change and soon everything will be back to normal. I lost hope, I'm not gonna lie. I was on the verge of giving up. I was there. Fate was waiting for me to jump. The wind is pushing my foot to step forward but I didn't. I stayed. Through it all, I stayed because I have faith. I believed. I'm having episodes. I'm not entertaining the thought but it haunts me. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN IT. It will be totally different with missing pieces. It wouldn't make much sense. Heck, it wouldn't at all. I'm fighting. The devils in my head are creeping into the veins of my emotions. I won't let them win. I won't let them in. Let the good and the bad collide.